Jun 1, 2021
Our thought leader of the day is
Dr. Marcia Reynolds, a master of coaching people about engaging in
powerful conversations. She is a sought-after transformational
coach known for her ability to change people’s minds. Dr. Reynolds
drops by to break down the truth behind hard conversations, which
she believes can be made easy, and it only takes a few things and
mindset shifts to do it.
Listen to Marcia and make hard
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[00:01 - 06:26] Introduction
- I introduce Dr. Marcia Reynolds
- Working with people’s thinking
- The power of coaching to widen
[06:27 - 11:10] How to lead people who are scared to
- The brain’s main job is to keep us safe.
Everything else is secondary to that.
- “Reality is an illusion, but a very persistent
one.” - Einstein
- The brain is always seeking - what can hurt
- It's a meaning making machine of our sense of
- We refer people to an article on Ever Widening
Circles article with the TED Talk called “What Fear Can Teach
[11:11 - 20:30] Workers are experiencing our “cultures”
- People have been overwhelmed by the changes
they must incorporate into their working and personal
- We don’t handle the overwhelm well. It’s not
just that things have shifted. Some things are gone and others have
- We need to give people a space to breathe. We
don’t have to fix it for them, or give advice. Just be present and
give them space to breathe.
- People are being kinder than they need to be.
And what exactly do each of us mean by saying “I’m
- Good question to ask when someone says they are
being one way or another is to ask what they mean by
- How Dr. Reynolds got into coaching by
- Getting “Empathy” right!... It is an outcome
after you have gotten curious about someone.
[20:31 - 29:12] What takes place to bring about real
- What it takes to rewire the brain
- When we listen and reflect back our
understanding of what they said, they can see their thinking, often
will say, that’s not what I meant. Everyone evolves from a back and
forth to get clarification.
- Marcia thinks it’s important for people to hear
their own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs spoken by someone else,
it prompts them to critically consider how their thinking affects
- Reflective Inquiry… “Here’s what I hear you
saying. Tell me more.”
- Be Curious. Ask what people mean in a kind
[29:13 - 34:28] Transformational
- More simple than people think
- Help people climb a tree in their brain and
look down on their thinking
- From the top of the tree, they can see gaps in
their logic and the way fear is guiding their thinking
[34:29- 48:37] Anger and Depression
- Book: Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers
- There is a state we all get in called “Cortisol
crabby” - When Adrenaline is being pumped out too often when our
way of thinking creates too much stress.
- The Adrenaline High then trails off to the
numbness of sadness… and in this state… We only see the
- The power of laughter
- Coaching helps us safely express
- Being aware of our spine…how our body positions
affect the way others feel a sense of safety or not, around
[48:38- 54:08] Focusing on what you are
- Deciding ahead of time what emotion you want to
bring to a conversation
- Come to a conversation with a Key word… Calm,
courage, care, etc…
- We can recognize an emotion and be open to
talking about what triggers it.
[54:09- 01:04:05] Healthy Friction
- The Challenger Disaster and how people avoided
doing the right thing (postponing the launch because the
temperatures dipped below freezing) because they wanted to avoid
confrontation and friction.
- The gas pump story about give and take…
self-awareness, and avoiding friction
- Allow the friction in a group. Remember that
friction is just energy circulating.
- We can learn to live with the storm and honor
each other in the process if we realize that creating anything will
generate a flow of energy swirling around, often perceived as
- Protecting people’s dignity so they can change
- Often we don’t do the right thing because of
being afraid of the other person’s response, we are getting lost in
the fear of response when we forget to focus on the importance and
urgency of a good outcome.
- If you don’t talk it out, you’re going to act
- Read some of Marcia’s blogs. Links
- Connect with Marcia
- Why Marcia believes this is still an amazing
“Empathy is not feeling.
Empathy is the result of feeling. I have to care and be curious.”
- Dr. Marcia
“There’s no such thing as
multitasking. We move from one thought to another very quickly.”
- Dr. Marcia
- Learn from the best! MasterClass provides 100+
classes across 9 categories. Learn science from Neil deGrasse
Tyson, songwriting from Alicia Keys, or style from Tan France!
Their insights are not to be missed.
Connect with Marcia on
Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram. Check out Covisioning LLC to know more about her
Conspiracy of Goodness Links:
Conspiracy of Goodness
Conspiracy of Goodness on
Dr. Lynda's Book:
Ever Widening Circles